Give Up on Life Pants

I was watching Adventure Time the other day, as I so often do, and one of the main characters made a statement that I thought was just beautiful.

"Jake, don't you call sweatpants, "give up on life pants?"
"Peeps need to respect themselves when they leave the house. Even if it's just for ice cream or TP or whatevs."

As I've reflected on this and the state of the general public (noting if you visit somewhere like Wal-Mart how many people are wearing sweat pants), I've come to a truly stark realization.

This is nothing short of an epiphany- a heavenly parting of the clouds of confusion that muddled my mind and held back the flow of understanding.
It is nigh impossible to impart upon you the level of clarity with which I now see the world.

I shall, in turn, provide you with this insight-- this knowledge of the gods-- that you too might feel the sensation of sweet serenity that passes through my brainmeat like a warm sunbeam passing over an open meadow.

Are you ready?

Are you absolutely prepared for the realization that I came to?
What I knew after arduous self-reflection?







I knew....

At that moment...

In that glorious, shining beacon of time stood still...

That I wanted ice cream.
Fairly badly.

Not like... enough to kill for it or anything, but I'd like it a decent amount.

I thought you should be privy to that as well.

(Don't you feel better now?)

-
Waddles

(more serious post on Monday, I'm sure)