Tuesdays

In lieu of another politically charged post, let's talk about my least favorite day of the week. Tuesday.

Tuesday is the tiny, albino, red-headed step-child of the weekly family.
Many people consider Monday to be the worst, but I find it more than tolerable because, more often than not, you've still got a bit of a nice high coasting from the weekend. You got to relax or have fun. In the one case, you're energetic and ready to go, in the other, you're pumped full of endorphins and good memories of the weekend.
Then, the long shadow of the week is slowly cast over you as the day progresses. However, by the time it finally dawns on you that you're in the real-world counterpart to hell, the workday's already over and you get to spend the rest of the day in some semblance of comfort.

Then comes Tuesday. If Satan truly wanted to take over the earth, he'd simply make every day Tuesday.

The weekend is surely gone, you know that now. But the next weekend is still so far away. At least on Wednesday, you can claim you're "halfway through." And Thursday and Friday are merely the days where you're winding down and preparing for the feelgood sensations of a break well-earned.

But not Tuesday.
You've just started the week. But it's distant enough from the last weekend that you've relived all the glory moments, and you've already thought ahead to what you'd like to do this weekend, but there's so much time in between now and then.
No, Tuesday is a far more sinister creature than any of the other days of the week. It taunts you with lingering wisps of memories from your last fleeting moments of relaxation or happiness, and just before you have a sweet thought in mind, Tuesday yanks the splendor from your fingers slicked with tears, holding the weekend out of your reach like a toy just above a dog's head. Tuesday tears your hopes and dreams asunder, reminding you of the cruel march ahead of you- the long road that cannot be circumvented.

See, what we ought to do is create an 8th day of the week. It would go directly before or after Wednesday, and it would be a BREAK day. Everything's closed that would be closed on a Sunday. People are encouraged to sit inside, grab a snack, and take a breather before fulfilling the rest of the week's obligations. Mostly so that Tuesday loses its power over us- its viselike grip over our sensibilities!
Tuesday's not merely inconvenient! Tuesday is a power of malevolence!
A force of pure evil! 

Tuesday kicks you while your down, then berates your puppies, then calls your parents to tell them you're not getting anything for their birthdays this year.
Tuesday wears your good shoes out in the mud and then tracks them through the house without cleaning any of it.
Tuesday fires that one good co-worker that you can relate to even as everyone else in your place of employment reveals themselves to be jackasses.
Tuesday spits on your grandfather's grave and whispers sweet nothings to your wife while you're at work.
Tuesday is the baby daddy that doesn't pay child support!

STOP THE TYRANNY, TUESDAY!

-
Waddles