Lessons Learned

Well, I'm a quitter.

I didn't even last a week before succumbing to my desire to be steeped in the flow of social information around me. Passive information bores me. Active information excites me and keeps me preoccupied.

(For a hilarious frame of reference: I went an entire week without speaking during college)
I had never really realized how dependent I was on being aware of everything that's going on around me. I knew that my mind had a penchant for analyzing everything constantly (to a worrisome degree), but it hadn't occurred to me that I would actually be incredibly uncomfortable when put into a position where I had to give that up.

I intend to give the experiment another go when I'm in a more stable place- somewhere devoid of ulcers preferably. =P
Beyond that, however, I'm unsure if this is a dependency or an addiction I'm allowing to take control of me. We all have our coping mechanisms for life. Some of us just want an empty space to vent into, rather than a conversational partner.
Some of us want someone who will listen, without speaking.
Some of us want someone who will listen and respond.
Some of us want advice.
Some of us want a swift kick in the ass.
Some of us escape.
Some of us ignore our problems.
Some of us take solace in knowing the situations of others.
Some of us just want to address the problem as quickly as possible and then walk away from it.
Some of us just need to be alone.

Everyone's coping mechanisms are a little different, and it seems that I cope by having a steady stream of social information at my fingertips. I expect there are people who would see this as either creepy or ludicrous or both. In the same way that I would see ignoring your problems as irresponsible.

You can't help everyone. Only the people who ask it of you and yourself.
To feel obligated towards every other friend that you should ensure their well-being without any prompt? It is unsustainable, even if it's the nicest thing you can do. "Nice" may not always translate to "practical" or "realistic."
It is perhaps time to stop seeking problems to solve, and rather, focus on addressing problems only as they arrive. Unfortunately, I've been coping for so long by trying to help others with their problems that I don't know what to supplement my emotional energy with otherwise...

All I know is that it has been a nasty week, and I'm the only one who will help me unless I ask specifically for help. So, I have to muster up the energy to snap my brain out of its fugue, so that I can act and continue growing. I'm certainly not going to help anyone or anything by shutting down and recoiling (as tantalizing a prospect as that might be sometimes).

Time to collect my wits about me, and start moving again.